Oh!! The insanity!!

Hi!  I’m M.  I turned 30 this year.  I can’t believe it.  I have no idea how I got here.  Where did my 20s go??  Who is this little girl and why is she calling me Mommy??  This year has been a whirlwind.  When I was 12 or 13 I would look in the mirror and try to imagine what I would look like at 18.  At 18 I would do the same at 21.  I never pictured 30.  Ever.

So yesterday was my half birthday.  Meaning halfway to my next birthday.  Almost 31.  Its still not sinking in.  I guess that’s why I’m blogging.  There are so many themes to my life, so many issues I want to just get out of my system.

I’m currently unable to work.  I’ve had this undercurrent of illness to my life, since I was a teenager, and again it has flared up.  Right now my life is uncertain due to my health condition and I have plenty of time to sit here and think…think…think.  Can you tell I’m a mom?  That was from “Blue’s Clues”.

Despite what is going on, I am very happy with my family, my husband, my daughter, where I live.  I was born in Austin and raised in Pittsburgh.  I left a bad marriage three years ago and moved back to Texas.  I married a longtime friend in June.  Our love story is worth it’s own post at a later date and time.  I have not been back to Pittsburgh in three years.  I have my own reasons and I’ll probably blog about that too.  I am just so amazed how different our country is from region to region.

I am a nurse.  Nine years now.  Most recently in hospice.  That plays into my spiritual beliefs.  I don’t go to church, I was raised Catholic and I  no longer believe in that doctrine.  I’ve tried different churches when I moved here.  No dice.  I can’t go to churches that openly condemn other people just because they are different.  So the search continues.

Since I’ve been more ill than usual I have been reading constantly.  I fear for the life of my Kindle, because it is getting obese and being forced to work late nights and long hours.  I am always interested in a good story.  So I will blog about my favorite books, what I’m currently reading, etc.

And finally, I can’t ignore what I was trying to ignore.  I was trying SO HARD to ignore this years presidential election.  Really I was.  My parents are extremely RED.  I mean, my mother listens to Rush.  I used to drink the kool aid too.  I have yet to register to vote in Texas, but I plan to soon, and I will register as an independent.  I don’t particularly like either candidate, and at this point in time, I’m considering writing in my cat, Punkin, for President and my daughter’s stuffed cat Minnie, for veep.  I do have very strong feelings regarding women’s rights, sexual assault, immigration, healthcare, foreign policy.  I know my history.  I know the constitution.  Sometimes I would like to keep my head buried in the sand, but it took that idiot Akin in Missouri to get me really pissed, as a nurse and a woman, and realize that we are letting men and politicians have a say about a body part that they do not possess.  INSANITY!!!