Catch 22

So I’m sick. I have a condition that really hasn’t been confirmed, but they are treating it as if I have it.


The steroids didn’t work. So I’m on methotrexate. That is a form of chemotherapy that they give to cancer patients, but for my purposes, its a lower dose. But the side effects still suck.

Because I’m on the chemo, I have to be on birth control. Which brings us to the subject of this post.

My husband and I are fairly certain that we can’t conceive without medical assistance…for various reasons. We were off birth control for two and a half years prior to me getting sick and no baby.

Birth control pills flare my migraines. Badly. Since starting a very low dose, I have had a migraine nearly every other day. I was already on a max dose of anti seizure medication prior to the sarcoid diagnosis. Recently added to the mix was another antidepressant to help with sleep and the migraines. And for the fibro, I had already been taking lyrica and another antidepressant.

So..having migraines every other day and taking my migraine relief medication is creating this polypharmacy stew in my body.

Oh..I forgot…add in the steroids and the methotrexate once a week.

This past weekend my heart started racing. And believe me, I was not participating in any aerobic activity.

My parents think its all the meds.

But what to eliminate? I would love to cut out the birth control. But if I do get pregnant…I live in Texas. A state that feels it necessary to regulate every uterus within it’s border.

Anti migraine meds? In the past, I had one full month of migraines when I was coming off of migraine meds. I do not wish to repeat.

Antidepressants? There is so much shit going on right now…I’ll have to post all the fantastic happenings that occurred this summer. We are waiting for the asteroid to crash through the front window any day now.

Lyrica? I have been on it for 5 years. It is the only thing that worked for my fibro symptoms. It is what turned my overall muscle pain down from an 8 to a 2.

And the new meds. Apparently my body hates me and is destroying itself from the inside out. And the only thing keeping me from going blind is steroids and poison.

See the dilemma?

Stop the meds and physically feel better…but go blind and then possibly relapse with fibro and depression…


Keep taking all the meds…keep my sight..keep the fibro under control…but suffer with side effects..

I hate this.

***Update 9/20/12***

I decided to stop the birth control.  We are just going to use other methods.

The only issue so far is that my hormones are out of whack.  And on top of being on steroids, I am just a bundle of fun these days.  Which feeds into the “not getting pregnant” thing…

I should nominate my husband for sainthood.