Oh dear God!! Maybe it was bound to happen eventually. Who knows? Other than the massive weight gain, I get extremely irritable on steroids. Not right away, thank God, or the wedding would have been…interesting. But it has been an insidious process.
I started out at 60mg per day. And the dosage has been toyed with since that time. Today I tapered down to 5 mg. I am nervous about it. This is the lowest dosage I have been on in four months. The last time they tried to taper me..my eyes rebelled. But I wasn’t on methotrexate at the time. I am hoping this goes well because I’m not sure if I can continue going on like this.
Back to the little sponge.
My daughter is a huge fan. I was a huge fan before her birth. I get the adult humor that the creators of the cartoon claim to know nothing about. I think I have seen every episode at least twice by now.
We have Directv, so we get at least six channels of Nickelodeon. That means at least 24 hours of Spongebob. And my daughter loves it. She doesn’t necessarily watch all the time, just having it on in the background is ok, but she loves that sponge.
I lost it the other day. The voice just got to me. I told my daughter “ENOUGH ALREADY! Find something else to watch. I don’t care what it is, just no more Spongebob!!!”
She complied, but the first time she thought I wasn’t paying attention, on went the sponge, and again that high pitched voice. “TURN THAT OFF!” “Why Mama?” “I don’t know, I just have no tolerance for Spongebob today”
I hate this aspect of the steroids. I turn into a different person. I’m glad that it is not that often, but when I have an irritable day, I snap at everyone. I have no tolerance of my husband’s sense of humor, no tolerance for Spongebob or my daughter’s antics, no tolerance for my mom’s politics, I just want to go in my room and read.
I have explained to my daughter that mommy has “Grumpy Bear days”, she has a Care Bear book and I used that to illustrate to her that sometime people don’t feel happy all the time. She seems to be on board with that. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful, intelligent and thoughtful child.
My husband usually thinks I’m mad at him. Which is not the case at all. I’m just mad at the world and EVERY SINGLE THING gets on my nerves. The air is annoying. My skin is annoying. I just want to scream. And sometimes it gets misdirected.
I can’t wait to be off of this medication. It truly is the devil. I understand the reasoning behind it, and it probably saved my eyesight. But steroids and my life do not mix. And my life involves a relationship with a sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea….