I can see clearly now?

Good report from the retina specialist.  So why did I put a question mark?  I still have black floaters that I’m supposed to “get used to” and my vision is blurry at times.  I have never had perfect vision, I have had to wear glasses or contacts since I was 8, but seeing objects in my field of vision isn’t something I ever thought I’d have to get “used” to.

We discussed my overall diagnosis.  He again stressed that it “could” be sarcoidosis.  He “could” do a biopsy on my left eye, isolate the ‘snowballs’ or collections of cellular material gathering in the back of my eye and see what it is and then I “might” have a definitive diagnosis of sarcoid.  But he does not feel that the benefits outweigh the risk of cutting my eyeball open.

So the poison appears to be working.  Woo.

I have a second opinion scheduled for next week.  I just want to know that I’m doing the right thing.  That this is what it is.

I have been having more and more pain in my joints.  The knees were really bad last night.  8/10 and required intervention.  I was actually shuffling around the house because my knees were so tender.

I’m still having to ration healthcare based on my financial status.  I discussed depression as a possible cause of increased pain, but I haven’t been able to afford the copay for more than one appointment per week.  I go in order of priority.  Eye doc and rheumatology comes first.  Maybe I’ll up my zoloft again.

I’m trying.  When I try to do more, I hurt more, and I crash.  How does one get past that?

I know, start low, go slow.  Just walking a block to the front of the apartment complex seems to zonk me.  Just running errands exhausts me.  I don’t know what to do here.

Any tips???  Tricks??  Ideas??  I’m completely at a loss.

One thought on “I can see clearly now?

  1. That’s terrible news you have to get used to those floaters. I don’t have anything super helpful for getting through running errands, but I thought I’d tell you what works for me. I keep a list of all the stuff I’d like to do so if I’m having a good hour or two I don’t have to waste time thinking about what to do. I always have pain medication and other medications on me. When I drive somewhere, I recline my seat, prop up my feet, and sit with my eyes closed, breathing deeply for 5 minutes before going in and do the same before leaving. I use the motor carts so I don’t waste energy on walking and carts. I refer to my list when people ask to help. Having tasks done, even if I didnt do them, makes me feel less useless and it makes my family happy to help. I also have come to accept that, right now, I will do less in a week then I used to do in a day. I’ve accepted this is okay because I am sick. I just try and enjoy myself when POTS allows me to and appreciate little things. Phew — that’s was long!! 🙂

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