Nearly human

I’m trying not to be superstitious.

I had an awesome day on Friday.  I woke up with energy.  Minimal pain.

I was inspired by watching Sunshine waiting for the school bus.  It was nice and cool, light breeze.  She was running around with her friends, enjoying life and childhood.  I just had this overwhelming feeling of love  for her.  She is so carefree.  She was just so happy to be outside and playing with her friends.  I had such a nostalgic feeling and longing for that feeling again.

I also felt this need to get better.  I don’t know what it was, but I just felt this pressure inside me to just do something.

So I took a walk.

I know it doesn’t sound like much, but even getting ready for a walk took longer than it did before I got sick.  Finding and putting on appropriate clothing and shoes took longer than expected.  Then negotiating the stairs. I was a little dizzy, but I took deep breaths and pushed.

And I walked at a slower pace, and then moved it up.  I walked around the apartment complex, then went to the clubhouse to get the mail.  Then back home.

Total: 14min 32 sec

I didn’t keel over and die.

I was exhausted, out of breath, but no pain.  I actually felt better.

So I rested.  And then I was able to do more.

I cleaned the kitchen (filled the dishwasher, ran it, emptied it, did pots and pans, wiped down the stove and counters), did three loads of laundry, and sorted one large load of clutter.

Then in the evening I felt well enough to go to my parents house, help Sunshine get ready to go camping with the Girl Scouts, give her a bath, do her hair etc.

Then me and my husband visited with friends until 2 a.m.  Just sitting at their house and talking.  2 a.m. I haven’t stayed up that late (on purpose) since my wedding.  We even swung by Whataburger for a late night snack.

I felt  nearly human yesterday.

Yes, I had bouts where I needed to slow down, when my husband needed to assist me with walking or changing position, or getting up from a chair.  I did have a few bouts of nausea.  But I dealt with it.

And I came home and did the methotrexate.

And today I’m resting.  So I’m back to feeling crappy, the usual lead in the limbs, unable to walk without assistance of furniture, pain in my joints, immense fatigue, overall yuck.  But yesterday gave me hope that I can be back to my normal life.

Hopefully, I am clearing the methotrexate more effectively, and I’ll have better days like yesterday earlier in the week.

So we will go with “cautiously optimistic” as the attitude for the day.

I will try to take a short walk tomorrow or Monday.



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