A case of the “Mondays”

Feeling like this today..

It’s not that I’m on the corporate “Monday” schedule like I used to be. I’m just not feeling too fantastic this today.

Methotrexate on Friday evening (well, early Saturday morning).  Vegetated ALL DAY Saturday.  And yesterday I felt  the effects of the methotrexate, but I kinda pushed it.  Sunshine returned from Daisy camp with my mom and we spent almost the entire day at my parent’s house.

I actually cooked dinner for everyone yesterday.  It wasn’t a 7-course feast, but it was a decent crock pot meal.  And it was edible, and actually good, and no one has died from food poisoning.  Yet.

So, again.  Here I am on a Monday, feeling like a train has hit me.  This is starting to be a pattern.  Veg after the med, feel ok the 2nd day and push it, feel like crap the 3rd and sometimes 4th day.

Grrr.  I wish I had more balance.

But on the bright side, the second day is when my daughter is home….

I puked with the methotrexate this week, and had some pretty bad nausea yesterday as well.  I don’t like that.  It happened in the beginning when I was starting the med.  So I don’t like this side effect just reappearing.  On Saturday, I could point to the dinner we were having, salmon.  That last bite just didn’t quite make it down.  But yesterday morning?  No excuse.  Just wave after wave of nausea.  No puking though.  I hate puking.

Pain?  It’s ok.  Gets to the upper ranges in the morning and especially at night.  This morning I tried to kneel to accomplish something for Sunshine, my knees felt like they were going to explode, like they had fluid in them, or that the joint wouldn’t hold.  Sometimes they feel like they are going to give out from under me.  I don’t know if this is a steroid related thing or a disease related thing.

The joints in my hand occasionally throb.  I massage them and it usually goes away.

Fatigue?  I’m halfway to nodding off right now.  I want to make sure I’m in my bed when that happens.  Sleeping on the couch definitely increases pain to my back and hips.

I have noticed improvement in that I feel better as the weeks go on.  Almost normal.  But actually taking the med and the immediate side effects…I hate.  Again with the catch-22 bullshit.

I see my aunt’s rheumatologist tomorrow for a second opinion.  I don’t know where I’m at in thinking about it.  Part of me wants him to find a completely different diagnosis, one that is more easily treated with chocolate or something.  The other part wants me to have him just say “no, this is sarcoid, you can expect x,y,and z to occur, your doctors are doing the right thing”.

Its not that I don’t like my current doctor, I do, I’m just scared that they are missing something.  The number one thing I miss about Pittsburgh (other than my best friend), is the top of the line medical care.  I had an amazing neurologist.  Awesome pain specialist for fibro.  My internist was incredible.

Not that the medical care down here is subpar, its just that there is no medical school here.  Perhaps it is also that my parents worked in the medical field in Pittsburgh for eons, and they knew which doc to send me too.  And I also had my own little cliques through work that I could ask for referrals.  I don’t have that here.  I can only go by word of mouth from family.

Hopefully, family is right on the money.  Let’s see what tomorrow brings.


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