Goodbye 2012

I am very happy to see this year end.  

This year started on a very sad note, my grandfather passed away last December 28, and last year at this time we were in the middle of funeral arrangements.  I did the eulogy.

The remainder of winter/spring and early summer I worked my butt off to pay for our wedding.  I failed to notice how my health was being affected, and I just chocked it up to working more.

June 8, the eye balls started acting up and it hasn’t been the same since.

So at year’s end, I am 40lbs heavier, with poorer vision, increased pain, more fatigue and taking chemotherapy.  I am basically out of a job, out of insurance, and receiving assistance.

My mother in law passed away suddenly and my father in law attempted to follow her in quick succession.

No, I am not sad at all to put this year behind me.

I am again forcing myself to look at the positive:

I celebrated 15 years of friendship with the most amazing man by marrying him.  Our wedding was wonderful.  Everything I hoped and wanted it to be.  In the six trying, frustrating, emotional months since our nuptials, we have only gotten stronger each day.  He stands by me, he cares for me.  We have so much fun just being with each other.  I am truly blessed to have him in my life.

I gained a fantastic bonus son.  He looks just like his Daddy and he is is so polite, smart, and fun.  I truly enjoy having him around and wish he could spend more time with us.  He is wonderful to my daughter and I am so happy that he accepts me as a bonus mom.  I love the conversations I have with him and I love watching him grow into a young man.

Due in part to my illness and being home ALL THE TIME, I have a stronger bond with my daughter.  I am now a stay-at-home mom.  Towards the end of the summer, when my husband was sorting out the aftermath of his mother’s sudden passing up north, my daughter and I had six weeks of just us.  Mommy and baby time we call it.  Yes, we butt heads.  She is as strong-willed and dramatic as I was at that age.  But I’m not sure I would have gained this level of closeness with her if I continued to work at the pace I was working.  I get to put her on the bus every morning, I’m here when she gets back.  I get to help her with her school work, volunteer at her school (if I’m feeling up to it), and I get a front row seat to watching her grow.  For that I am eternally grateful.

Yes, this has been an extremely trying year.  Physically, mentally and emotionally.  But I can’t ignore the personal, interpersonal, emotional growth that has taken place.

So I am happy to see you go, 2012, but thanks for the memories 🙂

 

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