Why can’t I sleep?

Fibromyalgia is cooperating with the steroids to rob me of sleep.

Well, at least tonight.

I have always had a bit of insomnia from time to time since I was a teenager.  Fibromyalgia heightened this ailment and one time needed to be alleviated with Ambien.

But recently things have been getting really “out of whack”.  With the addition of the blood pressure medications, I have begun to require larger amounts of sleep.  For the past two months, I have been going to bed from 10-11 pm and waking up at 6 with Sunshine.

Then I’ll go back to bed from 7 until 11 or even 1.

That happened yesterday, and I think my poor, confused body is torturing me for the excess sleep.

But the sleep is so profound, it is like I struggle to escape from its grips.

I can feel myself trying in vain to wake up, only to be thwarted and thrown back again into deeper stages of sleep.

And the dreams are so vivid.  Like watching a movie.  I try to write them down, but sometimes it is too bizarre, or I can only feel the outline of the dream in my brain.

So I stayed up all night tonight.

At first it was reading a good book.  Usually I will drift off to sleep about five pages into my latest treasure and my husband will have to gently remove my kindle and glasses.  But tonight, he came to bed and I was still wide awake.  After two pain pills and my usual plethora of medications that make life somewhat tolerable right now.

So I moved to the couch.  Usually when this happens, I fall asleep within an hour or two and my cell phone alarm wakes me up.  But not tonight.

I don’t know if it was the book or the massive quantities of sleep from the day before, but even after a dose of Benadryl, I was still wide awake.

And here I am, writing a blog post at 5:30 in the morning.

It is pointless to attempt to sleep now.  Sunshine will be waking up in 30 minutes.  My husband is waking up early to take her to school because she has a huge project she completed and I don’t want her to take the poster on the bus.

Maybe then I can slip into a deep sleep.  And wake up in time to get Sunshine off the bus at 3.


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