The truth hurts..

So Sunshine’s absentee father found my blog.  And he is not at all happy with his portrayal.  

I would like to point out that the child has not had ANY communication with this man since July 21 of last year.  He also blew off a scheduled visitation with her two weeks later.

Imagine what it was like for me…just started on chemo…just came home from supporting my husband as he buried his mother…and having to try to come up with an explanation to my five year old as to why her Daddy didn’t show up to visit with her.  Fun times.

The last 15 months have been difficult.  If you are reading this blog, you already know that.  

Sunshine still occasionally asks about him and her stepsisters and half sister.  I have no answer for her.  All I say is “he is making different choices right now”.

I’m still not clear what prompted his sudden interest in our child.  I did briefly have a text conversation with him that basically solved nothing.  

No reason for the disappearing act.  No apology.

And no inquiries to Sunshine’s well being.  None.  Not a request for a picture (I did send one) no musings on how she is doing in school…no questions about her as a person and how she is growing up.

Apparently he has found God and is praying for me.  He informed me that God will deal with me.  Nice.

This little conversation completely reinforces my decision to leave.  

One day she will have more pointed questions.  And I will show her the reams of email messages, transcripts of text wars.  

I still have my wedding album from my first wedding, along with some of his old pictures.  I still want her to know where she came from.  He is half of her.  And she will be curious one day.

I am eternally grateful for my dad and my husband.  They both have amazing relationships with her.  She also had a great relationship with my grandfathers.  

Positive thinking:  I worked all this week.  I have new floaters in my eyes, but I don’t know if they are old floaters or new ones.  I’m trying to hold out until my appointment with the eye doc at the end of October.  

Things are going smoothly at la casa de mi familia.  No one is dead yet, the cops haven’t been called, and the cat and the dogs are getting along…but keeping their distance.

Sunshine loves her new school.  She seriously just asked me to make up more math problems for her to put in her homework journal.

Despite the circumstances, things are going pretty well.

 

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7 thoughts on “The truth hurts..

  1. I think it is wonderful you are choosing not to poison her against her Dad with your answers to her questions no matter how tempting and justified doing so may be.

  2. You’re being the bigger person here. Your little one will see that you are not the reason he doesn’t wish to have a relationship with her. It is him and his demons, guilt, whatever that keep him from being capable of having a relationship with his beautiful daughter. Kudos to you for keeping some memories of your marriage/life with her father. You’re strong, intelligent, and simply awesome. I hope she sees this when she’s older!!! Keep up the great job.

  3. Truth does hurt. It also frees you and imprisons a liar. I can empathize with your daughter incredibly. I recently told part of my story in a post called “Letter To My father”. I encourage you to keep being a great mother because despite the gap and pain she may feel (and I pray she never does) she will always remember and cherish you for what you did and chose NOT to do. Cheers to you!

    • Thank you. She is such a sensitive, inquisitive, intuitive child that I’m sure it will come around one day. When she is old enough I’ll let her make her own decision if she wants to resume contact. But right now she is finally stable, finally back to her confident, spunky self. I’ll check out your post…thank you for the input..

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