Happy birthday Sunshine!!


These are the cupcakes I made for her “kid” party.


Sunshine turned 7 last week.

I am just now recovering.

I am thrilled that everything went well for her (and us).  People behaved for the most part.  Sunshine behaved and was a gracious guest.  Her friends were wonderful.  I’m so lucky to have wonderful friends who helped as well.

She had a spa party.  Four little girls here for five hours.  Wow.  That was fun.

She loved it.  The woman that did it was absolutely fantastic.  She was very friendly, very patient, even when the girls decided to have each hand/foot painted with different colors of nail polish.  Some wanted specific patterns.  And the lady was so fantastic.

sunshineShe brought EVERYTHING with her, including a table, all the craft supplies, and even chairs for the girls to sit in during their manicures.  That is what I wanted.  I wanted to do this for Sunshine, but with my health, I couldn’t commit to doing it all myself.

Sometimes with chronic illness, you have to sit down and decide what is more important:  saving money, or saving your health.

And I am incredibly happy that I hired someone to come in and do this.

I just watched her do her spa party thing.

I also had one of my friends come over to help referee the girls.  But it wasn’t needed, the girls were so well behaved.

And afterward, one of the moms stayed over for awhile and chatted.  That was so nice.  And I didn’t have to clean up a huge mess.  I am so happy I did this.

The next night, we had family over for cake and appetizers.  It was so nice.

I did text Sunshine’s birth father.  Not to have him contact her, but more to remind him that she exists.  For some reason, that is important to me.  I still haven’t had an actual phone conversation with him in 18 months.  He doesn’t respond to any of my texts.  I occasionally send him pics of her.

I just feel that he has a right to know how half of his DNA is doing.  I know I’m being way too nice.

Sunshine is doing better with that issue.  She is still seeing a counselor.  She asks occasionally if I have heard from him.  I always ask if she wants to talk to him, and she says no.  She is mainly concerned because she got to know her stepsisters and half sister, and that contact was abruptly cut off.

She wants a sibling so bad, so I understand her desire to have a connection to them.  She speaks with her stepbrother on the phone regularly.  And they spend every summer together.  But the idea of having “sisters” is so appealing to her.

It’s been seven years, and I am still in awe of her.  As she has grown, I am impressed more and more with the lovely little lady she is becoming.  She is smart, friendly, happy.  A bit sassy.  She understands things way beyond her years.  She is so kind.  I am so lucky to be her mama.

Sometimes I just look at her and it brings tears to my eyes.  I can’t imagine my life without her.  She has changed me in so many ways for the better.  By being her mom, I’m a better person.  I’m more patient, I’m less impulsive, I really don’t care what others think of me.  I’m fine being silly with her at the park or at the mall.

I love the conversations I have with her.  I love how she tries to figure things out.  I love being witness to how her brain works.  And she is hilarious.  She isn’t afraid to be herself.  She isn’t afraid to be silly, to pretend to be a cheetah (or hyena, or wolf, or lion) in public.  She isn’t afraid of being a “tomboy”.  She likes to make a mess, to laugh at fart jokes, to wrestle with her daddy and brother.

I hope she never loses that part of her that isn’t afraid of what others think.  I know the years ahead are fraught with image issues and friends and gossip.  I just hope she retains her sense of identity.  Stays grounded to the person she is at her core.

I hope that I continue to be an awesome mom.  That I say the right things at the right time.  That I make sure she feels loved and cherished every day of her life.

So happy birthday, Sunshine!!!