Something for your kids to know:
Hmm. This one is a tough one. I want to spare Sunshine some of the pain an agony I experienced in my teen years and into my late 20s. I want her to know that a relationship with a man isn’t the “end all, be all”. I want her to do things for herself, to get educated, to explore the world before she decides to get married.
I am also imposing a “do not get married until you are 25” rule. Recent research has indicated that a person’s brain doesn’t fully develop until around age 25. That people in their late teens and early 20s have difficulty with judgment calls.
I can definitely attest to the veracity of that statement. I met my former husband when I was 19. I got married at 22. I know that I was too young. I didn’t see the waving red flags in the relationship that indicated marriage to this man would not end well. I just didn’t want to be alone. I wanted security. So I settled.
I want Sunshine to be her own person. To develop who she is outside of a relationship. That way she can decide if the person she is in a relationship with compliments or impedes who she is. I want her to feel free to be herself in a marriage, if she even decides to get married. I want her to know deep in her heart that the person she is with will always be her rock, her support, her friend, her confidant. I’m not sure you can figure that out when your brain is still developing.
I am fortunate to find that person for me. I want Sunshine to experience the joy, the fun, the complete contentedness that I experience with my husband.