D: Denial

D

It’s not just a river in Egypt.

As a nurse, I still struggle with this.  Even nearly 8 years later.

When I was told that I had a nebulous, incurable, chronic illness at age 23, my brain struggled to comprehend.  I scoured the internet trying to find anything else that it could be.  Anything temporary.  But the thing with fibromyalgia is that the nature of getting that diagnosis usually means that everything else has been ruled out.

As the symptoms persisted without any kind of respite, even after pregnancy, and especially after one of the only meds to treat fibro helped my symptoms (Lyrica), I grew to accept this diagnosis.

And then the autoimmune hit.  And I was faced with another wave of denial.

What if it was autoimmune all this time?

But nearly two years in, I’m back to the acceptance of the fibro diagnosis.  But with every new discovery, every new drug, every new issue with my health, denial rears it’s ugly head:

What if the doctors were wrong?

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