Waiting

I hate being dependent on medication.

It is seriously like a drug addiction, only one that is legally sanctioned and promoted by the medical establishment.

I have taken a ton of medications during my adventures with chronic illness, but nothing sucks quite as much as being off of Lyrica.  Effexor XR is a close second.

I have been on Lyrica for six years.  After the initial six weeks of haze, vertigo and “out of body” feeling, it worked remarkably well for my fibro symptoms.

Late last year I had difficulty obtaining Lyrica, and I tried to go cold turkey.  It was horrible.

This time I’m a little bit smarter, and asked my PCP about what I can take to help.  So I restarted my Elavil at night to help with sleep.  But the pain and fatigue isn’t helped much.

I also have the intolerance to touch that I had before I started Lyrica.  I don’t know what the technical term is, but when I’m off Lyrica, my skin is more sensitized.  If I brush up against furniture or a person or even itch a scratch, the pain is overwhelming.  Breathtaking.  And the area throbs for at least a minute.

And the fatigue is the usual.  Just the run down, struggling to put one foot in front of the other fatigue.

I’m waiting for Pfizer to gift me with another supply of Lyrica.  I wrongly assumed that I was out of refills and would have to do all of the faxing of medical and financial records to get another refill.  So I slacked.  And now I’m paying for it.

Hopefully it comes through in the next week.  This is really getting annoying.

Good news…and getting back on the horse..

Friday I saw my eye doc.  No inflammation for the first time in over a year.

Per that doc, I don’t have to get back on antiinflammatory meds unless I have other symptoms that need treated, like joint pain and fatigue.

So far, so good.

My vision still isn’t fantastic, and once I get health insurance again (if that miracle occurs), I need to see the kind of eye doctor that prescribes contacts and glasses.

But I did two things that I haven’t really done in almost a year. I drove a car and not just to the grocery store less than a mile away, and I worked.

I am not foolish enough to believe that I can jump right back in to full time work.  I signed up with an agency that does health screenings for corporations and I was able to do five hours of ht/wt/vitals etc without dying.

I had some iffy moment with dizziness, difficulty with memory, difficulty lifting things.  But I worked and didn’t require EMS response.

Today, I feel like ick.  I think its more of the fibro and a combo of emotional stress.

Yes, the money is still an issue.  Add in the fact that my family (read:  father) is still punishing me for looking for alternatives to asking him for money.  I think that emotional distress is causing more pain than my disease processes combined.

But, I’m happy I am able to do SOMETHING.  And if anyone is willing to pay for a private nurse to advise their health decisions, I’m always looking for that type of work.

Until then, I hope I get more work through this agency, and the goal is to be back to full time work in the next six months.  Providing that I don’t experience a relapse or any other fun health issues.  

Thank you for reading!!